


Forbidden Love

by RedHeadedWoman



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-21
Updated: 2012-12-27
Packaged: 2017-11-21 21:29:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/602270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedHeadedWoman/pseuds/RedHeadedWoman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Our love was a forbidden one. There was no way that we could be together and yet I loved him. More than anything else. And I would be with him no matter what that meant.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Beginnings

I watched him while he made his way across the Great Hall and sit down next to his brothers, sister, Potter and Granger. I tried not to watch him but I couldn't help myself. I couldn't look away from him no matter how hard I tried. And I had been trying not to watch him since first year. I glanced at the boy sitting next to me and cursed my so-called "luck". Next to me was Draco Malfoy and he was conversing loudly with Crabbe and Goyle across from him. It was just my luck to be sitting next to Malfoy and his cronies. Not to mention being stuck in Slytherin rather in a pool of mud, which would be a far better arrangement in my opinion.

I watched him sit with his family and friends and I wanted nothing more than to go and sat down with them and stay with them for the rest of my life. I could very easily go and sat at their table but I don't think they would appreciate that very much. He smiled and I felt my heart skip a beat. Or several. His brother made a joke and he laughed loudly, revealing his smile lines and the fact that he's got dimples. Malfoy noticed that I was smiling.

'What are you smiling at, Tessa?' The smile slipped from my face as I turned to look at him.

'Not really any of your business, Draco.' I turned away and kept eating dinner careful not to smile again. Malfoy kept glancing at me for the rest of dinner and all the next day during breakfast.

In Charms I sat behind him and simply stared at the back of his head, without being to obvious lest one of my Slytherin pals noticed. All through the lesson he was laughing and making jokes, and not paying Flitwick any attention. I found myself slowly losing focus and falling asleep. It was a theory lesson and Flitwick was going over how to answer the questions in the Charms exam coming up at the end of the year. I knew that I should be paying attention seeing as it was our N.E.W.T year but he was too distracting.

When the bell went for break I escaped into the girl's bathroom and stared at myself in the mirror. My dark brown hair was pulled back in a tight ponytail just like every other Slytherin girl and my eyes had bags underneath them, which I'd tried to cover with make-up. My shirt was tucked in neatly and my green and silver tie was done up properly. Overall my uniform was perfect and I was sick of it. I cupped my hands and filled them with water and splashed the water on my face. I looked back up at my reflection and almost started crying. I hated the fact that I looked like every other stupid Slytherin girl with no obvious personality. I ripped the rubber band out of my hair and let it fall down my back. I undid the top button on my shirt and loosened my tie before pulling my shirt out of my skirt. I wiped the make-up off my face and used a spell to reduce the bags and left it at that. I ran my wet hands through my hair and looked at my reflection again. I preferred this look much better. It suited me more and I seemed to have a personality. My hair hung down around my face and my eyes seemed to sparkle. I no longer looked like just another Slytherin. I smiled at myself and left the bathroom. As I made my way through the corridors I could feel everyone looking at me. A few people actually stopped and did a double take.

I made my way to my D.A.D.A. class and I couldn't help but smile inwardly when I saw him waiting outside the classroom with everyone else standing with his twin and Lee Jordan. All three looked at me and I determinedly concentrated on listening to a fellow Slytherin complain about Hermione Granger again. Even though they were whispering I could still here them very clearly.

'Can you see her? Am I just imagining it or is there something different about her?' I heard him ask. Out the corner of my eye I could see them scrutinizing the way I looked and trying to work out what was different.

'Hmm, something's different for sure. But I can't tell what. Lee?' his twin turned to their friend who glanced at both of them and then back at me.

'Her hair's down, shirt un-tucked, tie loose, top button undone. And here's Umbridge.' Without another word Lee made his way into the room with the twins following him and muttering to each other. I made sure that I sat in a position where I could see him and he could see me. I felt like I first had when I saw him for the first time getting ready to get on the train for the first time along with his brothers. Ever since then I haven't been able to stop watching him even though I've had boyfriends. But even when I was with said boyfriends I would still watch him out the corner of my eye as always. I could see and feel everyone glancing at me every so often including him. As each minute of the lesson ticked by I could myself going slowly red. I could also feel my heart beating faster and faster. The lesson dragged on and breathing began to reflect the pace of my heart. When the bell finally rang I almost ran out the room and out into the fresh air.

I could see Slytherins standing around the grounds most likely talking about the "triumphant" return of Lord Voldemort. I couldn't rejoice at this "happy" news. I couldn't rejoice at this news at all. I have never forgotten what he did to my family. Everyone in my family may be Death Eaters but I still love them. How can I not love them? The great Lord Voldemort destroyed my family and pulled my parents apart. They want me to be happy that he has returned but I can feel worry. I don't want him back and I want to fight against him but I don't know how to go about that without getting killed by my own family. But I know that's not possible.

I sat on the edge of the lake by myself and dipped my feet into the cool water. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply and carefully. The warm breeze picked up my loose hair and whipped it back. I opened my eyes and watched as Potter and his sidekicks sat down amongst the roots of a large tree on the opposite bank. Potter seemed to be listening patiently to Granger while sharing a glance with Weasley. I let my hair fly back enjoying the feeling of being free and watched the world go by. I watched Slytherins torment each other and students from other houses, I watched Ravenclaws study, I watched Hufflepuffs attempt to hide from my house, and I watched Gryffindors sit around doing nothing. My eyes fell on him and I caught my breath. The wind was pushing his hair off his face and he was mucking around and laughing with his twin and Jordan. I quickly looked away before I did something stupid and reluctantly went back into the castle. I walked slowly down to the dungeons and into the Slytherin common room. I had never liked the common room, too many snakes around the place. I sat down in front of the fire and decided to remain there until it was time for dinner. I stared into the fire and tried to work out what I was going to do. I didn't want to be a Death Eater but I knew that I'd be forced to become one whether I liked it or not.

The flames died down and I lost track of time. All I could do was think about how I could get out of being a Death Eater and him. Somehow the two managed to co-exist. Actually it didn't surprise me that much. To be a Death Eater would mean to be someone I'm not and it would mean that I would most likely have to kill him. And I couldn't do that. I know that he would make me kill him because he would know. The Dark Lord _always_ knows _everything_. He will see it in my mind and he will make me do it so that I will have no reason to leave them and him. The flames begin to take on shapes on my mind. The images were mainly of the Dark Lord, my family, and him and his family. I didn't want to disappoint my family but I also didn't want to kill him. Or his family. They may've been blood traitors but I'm pretty sure I was as well. As I sat in front of the fire I made my decision that I would stick to. I would not join Lord Voldemort no matter what happened. I would do my best to keep him alive along with his family. I would fight Voldemort until the day I died.

____I sat at the dinner table surround by my new enemies and kept my head down, my hair swinging down over my face. I tried to act as natural as possible but when you can't get rid of the image of you killing those sitting around you it was hard. And I knew that one day I would face them in battle and would have no other choice but to kill._ _ _ _

____'Did you see that Mudblood's hair today?' the nasal voice of Pansy Parkinson graced my ears and I couldn't help but look at her. 'I mean, she's meant to be a witch isn't she? So, why doesn't she just use magic? It's not really the hard.' The topic of Granger and her appearance was a favourite of Pansy and one that she frequently brought up. The topic of Granger's hair was even more of favourite rather than overall looks. The other girls laughed along with her and I forced a smile. All of us looked over at Granger just as she looked up at us. When she caught us looking Pansy and the other girls shrieked with laughter and went back to their dinners. Granger turned slightly pink and Potter and the Weasleys looked around. I was smiling along with the girls but it was obvious to the Gryffindors that it was forced. Pansy turned in her seat and made a rude gesture at them. Ginny Weasley very quickly attempted to do the same thing but Hermione stopped her. Pansy and the girls laughed and immediately started bitching about the appearances of both Granger and Weasley._ _ _ _

____Granger, Potter and the Weasleys didn't seem able to look away from the laughing Slytherin girls. But strangely, to me anyway, they seemed to be looking only at me. I wondered if the fact that I was uncomfortable surrounded by these people was obvious on my face. I quickly looked away from the Gryffindor table and attempted to act normal. Though it was very hard to do so with him staring at me, along with the others. I could feel myself slowly turning red and I took a sip of Pumpkin Juice to try and calm my nerves. Though it didn't work very well._ _ _ _

____As soon as I had cleaned my plate I left the Hall as fast as I could without running or looking as though I wanted to run. When the doors closed behind me I leant my back against the wall and shut my eyes. I tried to calm myself but I simply couldn't. I opened my eyes and watched as the Ghosts came through the wall opposite me and began to make their way into the Hall. The Bloody Baron slowed to stop in front of me and stared at me. I had never enjoyed the company of the Baron._ _ _ _

____'Finished dinner already?'_ _ _ _

____'Not that it's any of your business but yes.' The Baron inclined his head and swept through both the wall and myself. 'Son of a…' I shivered at the icy feeling that spread through my veins._ _ _ _

____'Not going to finish your sentence?' I whipped around at the voice and found myself face-to-face with Harry Potter. I glanced behind him to find that Granger and his Weasley friends were there. Including him._ _ _ _

____'Obviously not.' I turned away from them and tried to get away from them, even if I didn't necessarily want to. I could feel their eyes on me as I walked away._ _ _ _

____'You didn't look very happy at dinner.' I turned back and looked at this small group standing in front of me. This small group of six students was prepared to stand against Voldemort knowing that death was probable. Yes, they had older wizards and witches to help them but it didn't look good for them. Before the war was over I had no doubt that most of them would be dead. I had to admire them. They were courageous, loyal and brave. And some would stupid into that mix._ _ _ _

____'Don't see how that's any of your business. But if you must know I wasn't happy at dinner.' I want to turn away again when he spoke._ _ _ _

____'And why not? Surely you can't hate those like you?' There was a sneer in his voice and a touch of hatred. It broke my heart to hear me speak like that. I turned back._ _ _ _

____'Those like me? You mean Slytherins?' There was a sneer in my voice along with barley disguised hatred and revulsion. 'I am not like them.'_ _ _ _

____'But you are a Slytherin, are you not?' Granger pointed out._ _ _ _

____'Yes, I suppose I am.' All of them looked at me funny and I smiled. 'But that does not mean that I am like them.'_ _ _ _

____'I thought all Slytherins were the same.' Said his twin. I looked at the six of them and realised that they thought I was lying._ _ _ _

____'Common misconception. Ever hear of a wizard called William Bellings?' All of them glanced at Granger who shrugged. 'Of course you haven't. Not many people have. Bellings was a great wizard, intelligent, patient, and a damn good Slytherin. For his first six years here that is. In his seventh year he was made Head Boy along with a Gryffindor girl, Yasmin Messing. Bellings was a true and proud Pure Blood while Messing was a Muggle Born,' I inclined my head at Granger and all of them noticed that I didn't say "Mudblood". 'Anyway, while they were Heads they got to know which each other and they fell deeply in love. When this got out to the rest of the school Bellings was ostracized by his fellow Pure Bloods while everyone else wondered how Messing could have fallen for him. After they graduated his family kept them apart. But they managed to meet up. His family and many other Slytherins followed them. A fight broke out and both Messing and Bellings were killed. Bellings father killed Messing and then Bellings killed his father and then as many of his family as he could until his brother killed him,' All of them stared at me, listening intently. 'So you see, not all Slytherins have the same personalities and attitudes. Some of us are… different to our housemates.'_ _ _ _

____'But how do you know about all of this?' Granger asked. I knew that out of all of them she would pick up on my comment that not many people knew the story._ _ _ _

____'Because Bellings' brother is my dearest father,' They all looked at me as though I had just told them that the Earth was flat. 'Anyway, my point is that not all Slytherins are the same. Some of us… go against the rules. And going against the rules is the equivalent of signing your own death warrant. Well, goodnight.' I turned and walked away from them. I had just told them that I was going against the rules and I knew that it would mean my death._ _ _ _

____As the rest of the year passed by I found myself studying for the N.E.W.T exams a week away. The fifth years had already begun their exams and every night you could walk into the library and find it full with fifth and seventh year students sitting as groups or individuals trying to re-study several years worth of information. The pressure was getting to everyone and Umbridge and her rules weren't making it any easier. Just a few weeks ago the D.A had been discovered and Umbridge was still fuming that Dumbledore had got away._ _ _ _

____One night I fund myself studying in the library on my own. I could laughter and I glanced around one of the bookshelves to see the twins mucking around, laughing and obviously planning something. Whatever they were planning it seemed like they were having a good time doing it. I smiled to myself and returned to my study. After a while I packed up my things and, sighing, walked out of the library, nodding goodnight to Madame Pince. I made my way through the corridors down to the dungeons keeping my head low._ _ _ _

____'Well, well, if it isn't the Weasley twins,' I stopped and glanced around the corner. Ten Slytherins led by Draco Malfoy, with Crabbe and Goyle on either side of him, surrounded the twins. 'What brings you to our neck of the woods?'_ _ _ _

____'Nothing,' he said. 'We're just passing through. We don't want any trouble.' I leant against the wall and squeezed my eyes shut. I drowned out the noise of them exchanging insults and then curses. I opened my eyes and decided that if I wanted to fight Voldemort and his followers I might as well start at school with his future followers. I took out my wand and performed a darkness spell so that I wouldn't be seen and then rounded the corner firing off spells at all the right people. Once I was sure that all the Slytherins were unconscious I lifted the darkness spell and saw the twins lying on the floor about ten feet apart. I levitated both of them up a few floors and set about healing them. Neither of them had any injuries that rated a visit to the Hospital Wing but the injuries they had required some fairly advanced healing magic. The worst injury was his broken arm. Both of them began to wake up just as I was about to start healing him. He jumped away from me as though my touch was an electric shock and then roared in pain as he moved his arm. I sat back and watched him nurse his arm while his twin went over to him and looked at his arm._ _ _ _

____'I suppose you like pain then, do you?' Both of them looked at me with their eyebrows raised. 'Well, do either of you know how to heal a broken arm?' They looked at each other and then shook their heads at me. 'Then, may I?' I held out my hand and he reluctantly moved forwards slowly. I caught his wrist and very carefully pushed up his sleeve. I looked very closely at his arm while his twin watched me closely. I carefully pressed down on his arm and he winced slightly. I glanced up at him and caught my breath as I looked directly into his eyes. I very quickly looked back down at his arm and worked very hard to control my breathing and my heart rate. I made very sure not to look back into his eyes but it was very difficult. Once I had healed his arm I stood and moved away from both of them_ _ _ _

____'There you go,' I said quickly. 'If it's still hurting you in the morning then I suggest you go to the Hospital Wing. But that should do it.'_ _ _ _

____'Thanks,' he nodded. 'Goodnight.' They said in unison and walked away. I watched them walk away and I was sure that he glanced back over his shoulder at me. But in the darkness I couldn't be sure._ _ _ _

____I made my way back to the Slytherin common room and winced slightly when I walked inside to find half of the House up, trying to think of ways to get back at the twins. Thankfully, they didn't notice my return so I was able to get up to my dorm without getting involved._ _ _ _

____All night the only things I dreamed about were his eyes._ _ _ _

____The next day I literally ran into him in a deserted corridor. When I opened my eyes I found him lying on top of me, looking down into my eyes. Once the realisation that he was lying on me dawned on him he quickly got off me and held out his hand to me. I looked up at him and then grasped his hand. He very gently yet firmly pulled me to my feet and he accidentally pulled me close against his body. His free hand rested on the small of my back and his other hand was still gripping mine. My free hand had somehow found its way onto his shoulder where it rested lightly. He pulled me closer to him and I could feel his warm breath on my face. His eyes seemed to pass from my eyes to my lips and my eyes looked between his eyes and lips. His face bent down to me. His lips gently brushed against mine. My heart skipped a beat and the look on his face indicted that his heart had done the same thing. We both smiled slightly and he pressed his lips to mine again, though with more feeling behind it. His lips were soft and mine moved with his. One of his hands entwined itself in my hair while his other hand drew me closer. My hands wound around his neck and I drew him further into the kiss. When we finally broke apart I looked into his eyes and could see that like me he had been waiting for that for a while. I tried to think of something to say but I couldn't. And apparently neither could he. I went to speak but we could hear people laughing and they were getting louder._ _ _ _

____'Listen. Malfoy and the others are planning to get you guys back for last night. I don't know what they're planning but be careful. They aren't happy about what happened.' He nodded and smiled at me. He bent his head and kissed me again. I quickly broke away from him when I recognised a voice that was floating down the corridor. 'Malfoy. Go.' I pushed against his chest and he released me. He picked up his bag and went through a door pretending to be a wall. I turned around to face the direction they were coming._ _ _ _

____'Hey,' I looked around and saw him peeking out through the door. 'I've wanted to do that for a while. And thanks for the warning.' I smiled and gestured for him to go. His head disappeared just as Malfoy and the others rounded the corner._ _ _ _

____The next day as I was hurrying through a corridor he was suddenly there, kissing me. When he pulled away he was smiling but it was a sad smile._ _ _ _

____'I'm sorry,' he murmured into my ear. I put one hand on the side of his face and made him look at me. 'I'm sorry that we never had time together. I'm sorry that we can't be together.' I closed my eyes and shook my head. He gently kissed me and a tear leaked out the corner of my eye. He wiped it away and made me look at him. 'I'm so sorry.' I knew that he really needed me to understand that and I did. I nodded and forced a smile. Technically, we had never been together but I still loved him._ _ _ _

____'I know you are and so am I,' I suddenly felt the urge to tell him that I wasn't going to fight for Voldemort. 'Do you remember when I said that I'm not like most Slytherins?' he nodded at me but frowned slightly, clearly worried about what was coming. 'I believe Harry. I'm on your side.' His face broke into a huge grin and he kissed me hard._ _ _ _

____'You have no idea how happy I am to hear that.'_ _ _ _

____'I think I can guess. But my decision doesn't mean that it will be any easier for us to be together. I can't see your family being too happy about it. No matter where I fight.'_ _ _ _

____'True but they'll come round. And so what if they don't? I'll still want to be with you. But I have to go. My dear twin is waiting for me. I'm sorry for this.'_ _ _ _

____'For what?'_ _ _ _

____'You'll see.' He laughed happily, kissed me and then ran off. I followed after a minute. When the first firework exploded I thought something terrible had happened. I laughed at Umbridge and Filch attempting to stop the fireworks and got some very dirty looks for it. But I honestly didn't care. I watched as he flew away with his twin and smiled. I would see him again and one day we would be together and no one could get in our way. I would not fight against him or anyone he cared for. I would see him again._ _ _ _

____When I got home at the end of the year I managed to force my mother to disown me and I ran. I knew that I couldn't go to him. Not yet anyway. But once I had proved that I was a different kind of Slytherin then I would go to him. Only then could I be with him. And I would a lifetime if I had to. I loved him too much to leave._ _ _ _

____Our love was a forbidden one. There was no way that we could be together and yet I loved him. More than anything else. And I would be with him no matter what that meant._ _ _ _


	2. Endings

I was tired and Death Eaters, who I was sure I knew from my years at Hogwarts, surrounded me. The bangs and cries of the battle raging around the castle and grounds reached my ears and I closed my eyes. The Death Eaters had only just gotten into the castle but already it was getting out of hand. I had arrived late and so I didn't know where anyone was. I also didn't know who was there. I tried to drown out the sounds of battle so that I could pay attention to the Death Eaters standing around me. I opened my eyes and looked at each of them in turn. I concentrated as I began to duel all ten of them at the same time.

For the past two years I had been feeding information to the Order of the Phoenix on Voldemort and the movements of the Death Eaters. This is made hard by the fact that I had never joined them but Dumbledore had decided that my knowledge was useful. When he had died my information was no longer useful seeing as no one else had known that I had been giving them information. For the past two years I had been trying to prove that I was good enough for him. I had seen him a few times over the past two years but we had never had the chance to speak even though I had gone into their joke shop. Whenever he had seen me he had smiled and winked at me, letting me know that he was waiting till the day we could be together.

Tonight was my chance to prove to everyone that I wasn't your average Slytherin. It was my chance to show that I could be with him. That I wanted to be with him and he wanted to be with me. Once the Death Eaters were all unconscious I checked my arm where there was a large gash. I ignored them and began to make my way through the castle, Stunning or killing Death Eaters as I went.

'Well, well, if it isn't the disowned one?' I turned around and saw three Death Eaters, holding their wands a loft.

'Least I'm not on the losing side.' They laughed at me then and I couldn't blame them for that. I sounded more confident in that statement than I felt. But I knew not to show it. I knew better than that.

'Fightin' for Hogwarts then? Fightin' alongside Mudbloods and Blood Traitors? Pathetic,' One of them spat on the floor at my feet. 'Well you won't see the end of this fight. You'll be dead long before then.' We began to duel and I had to admit that I had never fought so hard before in all my short life. I used any spell that came into my head and after a while I realised that some of the spells were Dark Magic and I quickly changed tact. As soon I changed tact I felt a searing pain in my right shoulder. The world seemed to slow as I looked at my shoulder and saw a deep gash. I staggered on my feet but managed to keep fighting. The fighting continued and my list of injuries grew. There was a gash on my shoulder, a gash on my arm, a bruise blooming on my face, a limp due to another gash, and I cut running down from hairline to my lip, over my right eye. I knew that I couldn't keep this up much longer but I was dong my best.

All of sudden there was a great white-hot searing pain in my chest. I gasped and blinked, not fully comprehending. The Death Eaters were laughing at me, laughing at my pain. I staggered and fell to my knees, my wand slipping from my grip and clattering to the floor. All noise left the world and all my senses were concentrated on he gaping hole in the middle of my chest. The blackness began to overwhelm me and my eyes rolled back into my head…

'Wasn't she in Slytherin?' The question entered my consciousness and my eyes flitted open. The doomed ceiling of the Great Hall swam before my eyes and I could hear people talking, crying, wailing. I wondered if the fight was over but I doubted it seeing as the people weren't celebrating.

'Can you hear me?' I looked into the eyes of a woman and nodded. 'Does your chest still hurt?' I closed my eyes and thought about the dull pain and nodded. She set about her work and I lost focus. She finally said that I was okay and helped me to my feet. I was a little unsteady at first but once that passed I began to heal the others. I could tell that those who recognised me were surprised but they didn't say anything. There were two reasons why I started trying to heal the injured. Because it was the right thing to do and because I couldn't bring myself to look at the bodies of those who had died, fearing that he would be there. I could feel the eyes of many people on me, no doubt wondering if this was some trick. After a while they stopped watching me and went back to their mourning.

When Voldemort's voice broke through the silence of mourning I almost started crying. Not because of his voice but because I couldn't stand not knowing who was dead because of the man behind the voice. As the proclamation of Harry Potter's death spread people began to head out to see if it was true. Even those who were injured. I was left alone with those who were dead.

For a long time I couldn't move. I stood there with my back to the row of dead people with my eyes shut tightly. I didn't want to turn. I didn't want to see if he was there. I turned around very slowly and began to scan the dead faces. I recognised the faces of students and teachers, Order members and others yet that I didn't know. My heart stopped. Red hair, could it be…?

The doors to the Great Hall opened and people poured in to escape the giants outside. I made my way through the living bodies and reached the red headed male lying amongst the dead. My heart stopped again…

When the fight was over they would find my body lying on the floor next to the body of the one with whom I had shared a forbidden love. They would find me with my eyes open and a content look upon my face. My hand would be on his and it would be clear to all that we had fallen in love. It would be obvious that I had died instead of living without him. Mrs. Weasley would remark that I would have made an excellent daughter-in-law and she was lying.

Our love had been a forbidden one. There had been no way that we could be together and yet I had loved him. More than anything else. And I now I we would be together for eternity.


End file.
